Is Inner Anger Wrecking You?
On the surface I don't think I come off angry.However every once in a while my blood boils, my words become short and my emotions are ready to spiral and spew. It has been something I have hid well- being overly nice, not saying what I feel, not acknowledging when something makes me uncomfortable or angry. I learned to push away anger like it didn't exist. Until in an unsuspecting situation I would react or overact which would hurt myself and others.
I would attempt to justify my bad attitude or anger. I could avoid people who frustrated me or suck up my feelings when a tough situation arose and I did not know what to say. I would even think I enjoyed being angry,pissed off,hurt. I have had a lot of life lessons recently which made me look at how I was treating other people and being hurtful. Where was this anger coming from? I had a dear friend ask me why, why I felt a certain way about things or why I dealt with things a certain way, why I reacted to words or situations the way I did? It was one of the best questions someone has asked me in a long time. I had to peer deep within where my anger stems from so I could honor it and change it.
Facing the parts of yourself that you are ashamed of or that hurt deeply is not an easy road, facing the cards you have been dealt in life, how you cope with things. What I know is I can see life after angry, or being overly tough, hard, unkind in my words or actions. I have to do the work to be better for myself and other people.
It's a journey.