50 Shades of Grey

That 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2' trailer almost stole some thunder tonight because I pretty much forgot that we were getting a brand, uh, spanking new, Beyoncé-accompanied trailer for '50 Shades of Grey.' Shady move, Blart. The second full trailer for the upcoming adaptation of the popular 'Twilight' fan-fiction erotica novel is here, so let's break it down, shall we?

We won’t know exactly how graphic ‘50 Shades of Grey’ is going to be until we see the film with our own cursed eyeballs, but we now officially know that the film has been given an R-rating by the pearl-clutching members of the MPAA. What does that R-rating stand for? Graphic nudity, “strong sexual content,” and “unusual behavior.” Wait, what the hell is unusual behavior?!

One of the great celebratory moments of 2014 was seeing Ben Affleck nude in 'Gone Girl' (and a little bit of Neil Patrick Harris too, if you were paying attention). It's not as if us women are male-nudity-starved, craven maniacs just salivating for a glimpse of wang or something, but with all the rampant female nudity and objectification that permeates pop culture, it's nice to see a little equality. So it's disheartening to hear that Jamie Dornan will not be appearing fully nude in '50 Shades of Grey,' as if that movie needed another reason to be avoided.

The '50 Shades of Grey' trailer is alternately steamy and scary, but late-night host Jimmy Fallon wasn't content to show it to his house band, the one and only Roots, as is. Nope, that thing needed to be modified just a touch, to really make sure that the band was paying the proper attention to their trailer-watching assignment. So the 'Tonight Show' host did what anyone would do -- he inserted a scary scream face into the middle of the trailer. Obvious, right?

Dealing with Charlie Hunnam's recent departure, the makers of '50 Shades of Grey' had to make quick work of finding a new actor to play Christian Grey. The replacement has been found. It's Jamie Dornan.

Bad news, '50 Shades of Grey' fans: Charlie Hunnam has cracked the whip and dropped out of playing Christian Grey in the upcoming big screen adaptation of the beloved softcore novel. We're not sure how you'll break this news to your mothers, but our thoughts are with you in this difficult time.

Well this is interesting -- and not in a great way. 'Zero Dark Thirty' and 'Contagion' star Jennifer Ehle has been cast in the upcoming adaptation of mommy porn favorite '50 Shades of Grey.' No, she won't be grabbing a whip. The actress will be playing the role of Anastasia Steele's mother, who should be very concerned about what her daughter is doing.

At long last, our national nightmare is over: Universal and Focus Features have found their leads for the upcoming adaptation of '50 Shades of Grey.' Dakota Johnson of 'The Social Network' has been cast as Anastasia Steele, the college student who enters into a dominant/submissive relationship with enigmatic businessman Christian Grey because fairy tales do come true, or something. Charlie Hunnam

You have been anticipating the movie release of "50 Shades of Grey"

Though there are still many decisions yet to be made, Universal and Focus features are adapting '50 Shades of Grey' for the big screen, and the latest news is that 'Anna Karenina' director Joe Wright is currently Universal's top choice for the job.