It happened last night after a series of confusing text messages, like a ton of bricks it swooped in where exactly is this relationship going? I had grown to like, care and feel love towards a person and after realizing that question needed to be answered and listening to him. It left me alone with my feelings to deal with. 2 lives not moving at the same speed or with the same goals. So could we be friends? No, I am not sitting in any person's friendship purgatory hoping one day you may decide you want to be with me. So I did what every grown woman does- I cried, I was sad and I had to ask myself how I had given so much conscious time to something that had hit a dead end. I took responsibility for my feelings, thanked him for his honesty, let him know I appreciate and respect his truth. I cried a bit more and attempted to sleep.I talked to my mom this morning. I went to the gym. I loved on my dog. I thought about all the great things in my life my family,friends, the amazing Bismarck-Mandan community I love, my work I love, my great co-workers, going to the Governor's Ball this Friday night.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I don't know if I ever will be in a relationship again however I still have tremendous faith in love. Without sounding completely naive I think God has a plan in everything and I hope that includes being a wife and mommy.

So if you are in some gray area of a relationship or friendship I think its good and healthy to have that "Where is this Going" talk. The rest I am still trying to figure out!


With love,