Weight- The Reality Check
Check out the nice email I got yesterday
"My apologies I know you're busy and I hope this isn't being too personal but I'm very big into health and I'd love to know any tips/advice on how you were able to lose weight and keep it off! I hope I'm not overstepping by asking you this."
I hadn't really sat deeply and thought about every ounce of work I have been putting into my life which included my physical health. Yes, I am 30 pounds lighter. However this is like the 9th time in my life I have rode the weight roller coaster gaining 20-40 pounds and then dropping it like a bad habit. Let me follow this thought every time I put on a lot of weight in my life it was during a deep time of change,stress and not really acknowledging my feelings. I would eat- because I would say I love food or I thought I was hungry or it was the easiest thing to do with friends or if I ate mindlessly,secretly who would care?
Then I would experience the opposite habits- not eating, taking metabolism boosters, strict diets, smoking cigarettes instead of eating. All the time I was searching for a quick fix and desperately out of balance.
Balance found me ,it was when I went into the hospital Christmas of 2011. My health was at a bleak place and I had no idea how I got there. Not paying attention, not slowing down, believing I was invincible to everything, I ignored pain or physical signs something was off. Then I was laid out on the floor and had to come face to face with my health. My God it was scary. So I talked to God and I promised that if I got out of the hospital I would live my entire life a lot healthier. I put the responsibility of my health and life fully on my shoulders. I wasn't going to do anything that would hurt my body ever again. Truthfully I am not sure if I believed in myself to keep that promise. So I backed off on a lot of things- fatty, sugary foods, slowed down drinking and the biggest thing is I emotionally went in to figure out who the heck I was and why I hid under fat to deal with problems.
So everyday for the last year and change has been meeting myself in the mirror- the stuff and patterns that have shaped me, the negative moments/events/people that scared me, exploring my insecurities and really coming to peace with me.
This peace translates into who you see now. Yes, I have been in the gym, I eat better, I go to sleep and give my body rest. Most importantly I have faced my fears and hurts head on and I have challenged myself to not settle for food when I can create a life that is going to make me really happy.
I want you to find your happy to and I am cheering you on in all you face!