Wife Suffers Panic Attack Due to Husband's Neglect of Cleaning

A woman on Reddit has detailed her experience with her husband's lack of cleaning and how it has affected her mental health.

"My(30F) husband(29M) made pasta the night before and didn’t strain it. He leaves some pasta in the water in the pot, so it kinda dissolves into this milky water with pasta. The next day at around 9pm I was loading the dishwasher and asked him to take care of the pasta water situation so I can load the pot. He dumped the pasta and water above the drain (there is a drain cover) then went and sat on his phone. I finished loading the dishwasher (a few minutes) and noticed the handful or so of pasta was just left in the sink. I brought up that he just dumped the pasta in the sink as I was going to clean it up but he cleans it up. It has now snowballed into a lot of fighting and issues, but the gist is I should have either cleaned up the pasta situation quietly or asked him to clean up the pasta and pot at his leisure before he went to bed," her post begins.

"I do understand that I shouldn’t have said 'hey, you left the pasta in the sink' For some context I work full time and his hours vary, part time-full time. We’ve been together ten years. He’s done this before and I’ve just quietly cleaned it up after a couple days of pasta in water," she continued.

The woman recognizes what she did wrong and admits that her husband did have some good points as to how to handle the situation.

"He’s definitely brought up some good points about how I should be better (I left a cardboard box in the kitchen for almost a week, we moved a month ago and I haven’t finished unpacking my stuff) but I guess I didn’t view the initial issue as that insane until things have escalated. In the moment when he pointed out the box I agreed with him that it was wrong, but food is different. He said food is only different for me because I’m autistic about it," she admits.

"Things have escalated to the point where he is bringing up past events and saying I'm controlling for numerous reasons and he needs boundaries. I agree that boundaries are good and maybe I am controlling but at the same time while he was re hashing past events he kept changing details and I feel like I'm going crazy. This morning it was continued while I was in the shower and a story changed from me asking him to load the dishwasher to me asking him to unload the dishwasher and him twisting my words to the point where I had a panic attack and told him he was f----ing crazy and this entire situation is insane. I shouldn't have said that, now I called him names and he never calls me names," the woman reveals before asking if she was wrong.

People in the comments section of the post were divided over who was wrong.

"He doesn't think he should be cleaning. End of discussion, from his viewpoint," one person said.

"Look up DARVO, I get the feeling you married an expert," commented someone else.

"I say this very respectfully … Both of you just stop talking. You’re both just trying to assign blame to each other. It’s not necessary. You’re both flawed human beings. You’re going to make mistakes & annoy each other. It happens … A lot!" advised a different Reddit user.