Ariana and the Rose’s Guide to Pop Culture’s Worst Boyfriends Ever
When it comes to dating, the age old question of "Are we, or aren't we?" can make or break a budding relationship. Most of us are no stranger to being left lingering by a pseudo-partner, wondering if they're actually our boyfriend/girlfriend or pondering how official, exactly, the 'ship is at the end of the day. It's an agonizing and frustrating uncertainty Brooklyn-based indie synth-pop artist Ariana and the Rose explores on her new bop, "You Were Never My Boyfriend."
"The song was inspired by my own experiences in relationships. I wrote the song as a poem first, really based off of one experience that felt like an extreme version of the story, but the concept was something I was hearing people talk about everywhere," Ariana shares, adding that her "friends were going through the same thing."
"As soon as you hear the phrase, you just immediately can relate to the situation. I just felt like there was a song in that that could feel empowering," she adds of the swirling electro-bop track, which finds the performer shrugging off a less-than-committed, undefined former beau.
Listen below — plus, also check out Ariana's hilarious guide to the worst boyfriends and non-boyfriends in pop culture history.
Worst TV boyfriend: Jordan Catalano from My So Called Life. He and Angela are potentially the first TV teen soap documentation of “You Were Never My Boyfriend.” He’s the worst to her! But you also kinda still root for him to get it right, which I think is an underlying theme in all “almost” relationships. Also, an honorable mention to every dude whoever made a cameo on The Hills.
Worst movie boyfriend: Julia’s (Drew Barrymore) boyfriend in the Wedding Singer. She was going to be Julia Gulia!!! He was such a d---. It’s obviously built so that you hate him and love Adam Sandler’s character but he really is the worst. I’d say Bradley Cooper’s character Zach in Wedding Crashers is equally horrible. You love to hate him in that one, it’s just cringe-y watching him tell that story about saving baby seals and then how horribly patronizing he is to [his girlfriend] in private.
Worst boyfriend in a music video or song: Whoever Beyoncé is talking about in "Irreplaceable" clearly f---ed up. I mean, he cheated on her and told her that she couldn't do better... We all know Beyoncé is the best he is ever going to get.
Worst celebrity boyfriend: Kevin Federline, based on his outfits alone. The whole thing was a mess. I stan Britney all the way to the end of time. He was not what she deserved. Honorable mention: Scott Disick, but I kind of love him now.
Bonus: Worst celebrity husband would be Brad Pitt. Regardless of whether you were team Jen or Angelina — though it's gross that we pitted women like that against each other — it was completely glossed over that he had very publicly cheated on Jennifer Aniston. Everyone focused on the women!
Worst literary boyfriend: They’re technically plays but I’m going to go with Othello and Hamlet. There were no worse fictional boyfriends than the ones of Shakespearean proportions. I also think Holden Caulfield (The Catcher in the Rye) would have grown up to be the king of "You Were Never My Boyfriend" kind of relationships.