Sometimes (a lot of the time) fiction is stranger than the truth. Take for example, a recent rumor that suggests Taylor Swift desperately wants to hook up with Justin Bieber and is willing to ruin her BFF status with Selena Gomez to do it.

The National Enquirer -- a “news” source that is second only to the Weekly World News when it comes to a relationship with the truth -- is claiming that T-Swizzle wants the Biebs to be her boyfriend and to never let her go. Also, she's part Loch Ness Monster.

Okay, the article didn't say that last part, but it did say Swift was “swift to swoop in on the suddenly unattached Biebs.” Get it? Swift to swoop? Taylor Swift? Oh National Enquirer, how you slay us.

An “insider” (read: the same person who concocted the article) claims Swift believes Bieber “is fair game now,” and that she's “had a crush on him for years.”

Selena, meanwhile, is allegedly “heartbroken at the thought of the two of them getting together” and is crying into pillows and complaining to her teddy bears about her former boyfriend and bestie going steady behind her back.

And in an effort to make her appear mentally unstable, the article claims she's been quizzing “Taylor about her intentions with Justin.”

As if this overwhelming evidence wasn't damning enough, Swift and Bieber “phone and text each other at least four times a day, and they never even mention Selena.” THE HORROR.

Taylor is allegedly tracking down Justin because he's “the one person who knows what her life is like.” Because surely Harry Styles (a member of the wildly popular boy band One Direction) could have never understood what it's like to be a “superstar.”

Alas, the Enquirer doesn't think the secret Swieber relationship will last long. But a short shelf-life just one of the many perils of a fictional liaison.