I hate buying new computers. It's not that I don't like new technology, because I'm always getting the newest gaming systems and phones.I just hate buying new computers.

My laptop, which we lovingly called The Dinosaur because it was big, bulky, and OLD, finally died last week. Can't really complain about it though. It was an HP Media Center laptop that I purchased back in 2005 new. 19" screen, 500gb hard drive, 8gb ram... everything a touring DJ who dislikes Mac's would need.

I must have fixed that thing monthly the last couple years. It was always causing me problems, but I absolutely refused to buy a new one. As you all probably can guess, my job involves a lot of time behind a computer screen. I also have to be available around the clock to fix any problems that may come up. Because of this, it's important I have a working computer at my house at all times.

Why do I hate buying new computers, you ask? Well... Let me tell you about my Saturday night.

Here's how my night went.

4:00 pm: I get home from the store with my new computer. I pull it out and plug it in. After a few minutes of reading the paperwork that comes with it, I turn it on
4:15 pm: Computer finally completes it's initial boot and is ready for the initial setup from me.
4:45 pm: Initial setup complete. I purchased a laptop with Windows 8 installed, and I know there is an update to 8.1. I look for any updates so I can get up to 8.1. 86 updates needed. Start updating the computer, then go take care of the honey-do list for the day.
5:25 pm: 54 of the 86 updates completed. Computer restarts and installs the last 32 updates. I take out the trash and start thinking about what to make for dinner.
6:15 pm: Computer completes the updates. I check for any more, 18 more show up. I start those and turn on the Xbox to play a few games with my son.
6:30 pm: 18 updates complete. Restart. Start downloading the Windows 8.1 Update. Head to the kitchen to make dinner.
7:25 pm: Dinner is finished and the wife and I start cleaning up. Update finally starts installing. Finish cleaning up and find a movie to watch with the kids.
8:35 pm: Update needs to restart the computer to finish, but doesn't do it automatically. Most of the way through "Finding Nemo" with the babies. Forced a restart to finish.
8:40 pm: Computer boots up, but needs to do another initial setup process. Finish just as the credits roll on the movie.
9:00 pm: Put the computer aside to put the kids to bed. Come back and check for any more updates that may need to be done. Computer finds 30 more.
9:35 pm: Computer is FINALLY finished updating. Check a couple times to make sure.
9:40 pm: Start loading my work programs onto the computer while taking shots of Jack.
10:30 pm: Get everything installed and working. Should stop drinking as I have to be up early for an event, but decide to keep drinking and messing around on the internet.

Over 6 hours. I just don't have that kind of patience.

Moral of the story: If you buy a new computer, have someone else get it up and running for you. Nobody needs that kind of stress in their lives.