Bismarck Could Definitely Survive a Zombie Apocalypse
As we approach Season 8's midseason premiere of 'The Walking Dead' on AMC, we all know the show has its 'walker' apocalypse to deal with, but what if Bismarck was caught in a zombie apocalypse of its own?
In the past, CareerBuilder has released studies showing how some of the biggest metropolitan cities across the U.S. might fare in a zombie apocalypse. If you're wondering why CareerBuilder would randomly perform the study, then we're on the same page. Perhaps they're getting ready to accept resumes for the occupation, 'Zombie Apocalypse Strategist.'
The top cities listed with the potential to survive a zombie apocalypse are Boston, MA and Kansas City, MO. Minneapolis, MN shows up listed at number 10 on the list, as it should for reasons I'll explain in a second. Overall, 53 metropolitan cities with a minimum population of 1 million are listed, therefore, Bismarck, ND is nowhere to be found on the list.
But what if Bismarck had to go through a zombie apocalypse? In my opinion, it would be a great city to be in during a zombie apocalypse!
If we're talking about the zombies, like the 'walkers' in 'The Walking Dead' (I'm well aware they've never been referred to as 'zombies' on the show), there is no way those zombies could survive in Bismarck.
- They couldn't handle our winters. When you're trying to move around on snow and ice, you have to strategically maneuver so you don't end up falling on your rear end. Zombies are stupid. They can't think about how to move around in the ongoing freezing temperatures during the winter months. Not to mention their decrepit body parts would easily freeze and break, maybe even fall off. They don't have a working circulatory system to help keep them warm.
- The Missouri River would be their biggest obstacle. During the summer, everyone is out on the river. How's a zombie going to make his way through the river waters to attack humans partying it up? Are they going to hijack a pontoon? No, as I'll reiterate once more, zombies are stupid.
- Lack of defense. In case you haven't noticed, North Dakota is a pretty wide open state. There are no trees anywhere. In 'The Walking Dead,' you typically see the 'walkers' coming from the wooded areas with many trees where it'd be tougher to see them coming. In the wide open, they're screwed. North Dakota is one of the best states for hunting. So, you know that North Dakotans can handle themselves in the outdoors against a zombie that can't think for itself.
Therefore, if a zombie apocalypse should happen, don't sweat it, Bismarck. We're in a pretty good spot. Any city where it's typically colder and sits on a river is in pretty good shape. That's why I also say that Minneapolis would be a good city during a zombie apocalypse as well. It has a colder climate and sits on the Mississippi River. Our region is well equipped against zombies and/or 'walkers'.
However, 'White Walkers,' like in 'Game of Thrones' are an entirely different story. They can actually think and strategize. And, spoiler alert, they have a dragon now. Let's also not forget the fact that the Night King can throw a javelin better than any Olympian ever. If we have to battle zombies on that level, we may be screwed.
Good luck, Bismarck!