An early start of a Thursday, began by sitting in a warm plane at a windy, rain splattered Bismarck airport. While waiting to take off to my hometown San Diego-GRIEF finally settled in. I lost my father back in December, and I've racked my brain wondering "WHY?"

I'm not questioning his death, but WHY, WHY has it taken me so long for the flood of emotions that I feel NOW? Some may say "Well you just moved to Bismarck, you recently started a new job, that's a lot to cope with". I don't buy it, you see I'm not someone who enjoys cruising along the "self-pity highway".

I woke up this morning to the realization that maybe my priorities had been way off. Did I do enough when my dad was in his later years? Why did I not make more of an effort to spend time with him? I mean, that's all he wanted from me, to be with his son, if just for a half hour. Was that too much for him to hope for?

My dad's memorial is this Saturday-a celebration of life. I will do my best to be strong, and upbeat, however a HUGE part of me aches-for all the lost time that went by, without me by his side.

This is not intended to be a lecture, I don't work that way. Please just hold on to your loved ones-always.